Dearest k,
I don't know how many times I've jumped when the phone rang today. Then I remembered you were gone. It's just as well though that you're gone, because the phones here all went dead. Every phone in the house is out. So even if you were here, I couldn't talk to you.
So I'm just sitting here at 12:11am listening to the cheezy station. It starts getting really cheezy after 12:30, so we'll have to wait a little for me to match the radio station. For some reason I always feel extremely cheezy when I've been away from you for awhile. It's probably withdrawal. I just dropped you off 24 hours ago. I'm really glad I got to spend some time with you. I always look forward to seeing you. Any time I can, I want to see you, so don't bother asking if I want to. Just tell me where and when. I'll be there if at all humanly possible. I'm really sorry about last night. You weren't enjoying yourself too much were you. I'm sorry. I should have made the evening more special for you, as it is one of the few times we get to spend together. I love you so much, and I want to do whatever it takes to make you happy. I feel like I failed miserably at that last night though.
Tell me, what can I do to make you really really happy? I'll do anything for you. I'm sorry that I make you cry all the time. I don't mean to. It just breaks my heart to know that I'm the reason you're crying. I'm glad I was there to hold you though. If I'm gonna make you cry, I want to hold you while you do it. I want to hold you, comfort you, protect you, and keep you warm. I want to make you feel safe and comfortable. Most of all I want to make you feel loved. I really do love you and I want you to know that, not just because I tell you. I want it to be obvious to you in everything I do or say. I want you to feel it in every touch of my hand, in every hug and in every kiss. That's what I want to do, whether or not I've been successful I don't know, I hope I have. I just want to make you feel the way you make me feel.
I can see the love in your eyes. I can feel it when you hug me. When you hug me, a wave of warmth comes rushing over me. No one else can do that. Do you know how special you make me feel? You make me feel like I'm standing on top of the world. I don't think you could possibly understand how much I love you because of the clumsy way I go about showing it. I just want to do right by you and give you some times you'll always remember. I want you, when you're 85 and sitting on the swing on the front porch of your cabin looking out across the lake, to be able to think back and know that you were loved by a skinny, little, awkward boy who talked funny. I know I'll always remember you and the way you love me.
Goodnight my love, and wherever you are, I hope you're warm and safe. I wish you were here though, so I had another chance to show how much I love you.
lovingly,
J
Saturday, June 2, 2012
girls ruin things for other girls
I recently read a post written by a girl, basically listing items that she thinks is important that guys knew. The list included the usual suspects like girls like flowers, we like surprises, if you start doing this nice thing once...you'd better keep on doing it....yadda yadda yadda.
What upset me about this post is that it is the typical list of what a guy should do/be if he lived in a chick-flick-romance or rom-com movie. Ugh. I love a good rom-com as much as the next Meg-Ryan-Tom-Hanks-loving-sap (I do, seriously) but to hear one more girl spew about how she wished that her guy or the guy she is currently dating would do things that she could brag to her friends about so they'd be jealous, or how he would plan elaborate nights for her (and then keep planning them in their future to surprise her, so then of course she could brag to her girlfriends) is absolutely the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
I will most likely get in trouble with a whole ton of girls out there for saying that this is exactly why guys run away from girls like that and why you screw it up for the rest of us girls who don't pressure guys to live up to the romantic movie expectation.
When a guy makes special plans for me, spends all day, week, month planning it out, I enjoy the evening for what it is and I enjoy the effort for what it is. I don't tell him how great this is and that I'd better see more of it in the future. On the flip side, if we're sitting together and he asks me what I want to do for dinner, I don't tell him that making reservations would have impressed me a lot more than asking me where I want to go. Why can't girls just enjoy the moment? Why can't they just appreciate what he has done at that moment in time, and enjoy being there without letting thoughts of "how am I going to spin this to my girlfriends or word this posting on facebook so that everyone is jealous of me". Is that what is important to you? Do you really want to pressure the guy into thinking that the only way to keep you is to make elaborate plans, "spontaneously" every two months in order to keep your interest?
Of course other famous requirements for being a good boyfriend included bringing flowers, text messaging or calling to let the girl know he has had a random thought about her and wanted her to know, following that string of thought speaking to her is required every day because a few times a week is not enough, whatever he did at the start of the relationship to impress her must be carried on throughout the duration of the relationship, holding her in the middle of an argument, getting rid of body hair, having a career she can brag about to her friends and a whole lot of other stuff. If I were a guy, I would turn around the run the fuck out of there because this is a crazy girl bomb just waiting to happen.
Don't get me wrong, I love flowers and messages telling me that someone thought of me and having romantic conversations every day. I'm not going to make veiled threats to someone that they'd better do these things or else. Believe it or not, some guys will actually do these things on their own. Seriously. These are things that some guys eventually do if they are not pushed. Seriously. This isn't a lie, they will do it. Just don't make it one of the commandments for being with you.
Turn the tables around for just one moment ladies....
THESE ARE THE THINGS YOU MUST DO TO BE WITH ME
1. wax please. we hate it when you let yourself go. not all body hair is sexy.
2. you have to do things in bed that I can tell my friends about later, so please do your best to make it impressive
3. once you start doing impressive things in bed, you must continue, and escalate the level of impressiveness
4. don't start out being one way and then a few weeks later become godzilla. if you're going to start behaving one way at the start of our relationship, then I should never ever see godzilla since the start of our relationship was the real you
5. men like to be left alone from time to time. don't take it as an insult if we don't want to see you. I may give in the first time you pout and whine, but trust me, it will wear thin.
6. if you don't want me to tell my friends what you look like naked and all the dumb ass shit you do, then don't tell all of your friends about my slip ups and then expect me to try to "make up for it" so you can tell them what I have done later to make it up to you
7. you keep telling us that you don't like to play games and you don't like it when guys do. if that's the case, then when you answer "everything's fine" to the question "what's wrong", and expect me to fix it, that's a game. Just tell me what the hell is wrong, what I have done and then we can have a conversation from there
8. you get pissed off when I am late to pick you up, same courtesy applies when you're an hour late because you don't know what to wear, even though you've been getting dressed in your mind all day
9. when I do something nice for you, enjoy it. Don't start putting new expectations on me about how I must constantly spend the rest of my life to "one up" myself. That just ruins the moment, ruins the surprise, and makes me never want to plan anything for you ever again.
10. stop playing the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde role. don't get all happy because I bought you something, then pout 10 seconds later because it "wasn't the one that you pointed to in the window", then yell at me because I wasn't paying attention, give me a lesson on how to pay attention including making mental notes every time you say how much you like that colour/flower/jewelry/sweater/restaurant/puppy, tell me to make up for it next time I surprise you with a big night on the town including reservations and an over night hotel stay, and then look at me and smile to say you love what I gave you. That shit is just crazy and makes me want to run the hell away from you.
So this is my top 10 of what I would think if I were a guy. Trust me, there would be more because there is a TON of shit women do that drive me out of my mind. I am not saying that I have never played these games, but you have to learn when to stop. I wish girls would just get out of their own way, open their eyes, and see the guy that is right in front of them and appreciate him for who he is. I'm not saying that all guys turn into Prince Charming, because they don't. Some are keepers and some are not. But there is a lid for every jar.
Not all girls play games. For those of you that do, good God stop telling the world that we're all like you!
What upset me about this post is that it is the typical list of what a guy should do/be if he lived in a chick-flick-romance or rom-com movie. Ugh. I love a good rom-com as much as the next Meg-Ryan-Tom-Hanks-loving-sap (I do, seriously) but to hear one more girl spew about how she wished that her guy or the guy she is currently dating would do things that she could brag to her friends about so they'd be jealous, or how he would plan elaborate nights for her (and then keep planning them in their future to surprise her, so then of course she could brag to her girlfriends) is absolutely the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
I will most likely get in trouble with a whole ton of girls out there for saying that this is exactly why guys run away from girls like that and why you screw it up for the rest of us girls who don't pressure guys to live up to the romantic movie expectation.
When a guy makes special plans for me, spends all day, week, month planning it out, I enjoy the evening for what it is and I enjoy the effort for what it is. I don't tell him how great this is and that I'd better see more of it in the future. On the flip side, if we're sitting together and he asks me what I want to do for dinner, I don't tell him that making reservations would have impressed me a lot more than asking me where I want to go. Why can't girls just enjoy the moment? Why can't they just appreciate what he has done at that moment in time, and enjoy being there without letting thoughts of "how am I going to spin this to my girlfriends or word this posting on facebook so that everyone is jealous of me". Is that what is important to you? Do you really want to pressure the guy into thinking that the only way to keep you is to make elaborate plans, "spontaneously" every two months in order to keep your interest?
Of course other famous requirements for being a good boyfriend included bringing flowers, text messaging or calling to let the girl know he has had a random thought about her and wanted her to know, following that string of thought speaking to her is required every day because a few times a week is not enough, whatever he did at the start of the relationship to impress her must be carried on throughout the duration of the relationship, holding her in the middle of an argument, getting rid of body hair, having a career she can brag about to her friends and a whole lot of other stuff. If I were a guy, I would turn around the run the fuck out of there because this is a crazy girl bomb just waiting to happen.
Don't get me wrong, I love flowers and messages telling me that someone thought of me and having romantic conversations every day. I'm not going to make veiled threats to someone that they'd better do these things or else. Believe it or not, some guys will actually do these things on their own. Seriously. These are things that some guys eventually do if they are not pushed. Seriously. This isn't a lie, they will do it. Just don't make it one of the commandments for being with you.
Turn the tables around for just one moment ladies....
THESE ARE THE THINGS YOU MUST DO TO BE WITH ME
1. wax please. we hate it when you let yourself go. not all body hair is sexy.
2. you have to do things in bed that I can tell my friends about later, so please do your best to make it impressive
3. once you start doing impressive things in bed, you must continue, and escalate the level of impressiveness
4. don't start out being one way and then a few weeks later become godzilla. if you're going to start behaving one way at the start of our relationship, then I should never ever see godzilla since the start of our relationship was the real you
5. men like to be left alone from time to time. don't take it as an insult if we don't want to see you. I may give in the first time you pout and whine, but trust me, it will wear thin.
6. if you don't want me to tell my friends what you look like naked and all the dumb ass shit you do, then don't tell all of your friends about my slip ups and then expect me to try to "make up for it" so you can tell them what I have done later to make it up to you
7. you keep telling us that you don't like to play games and you don't like it when guys do. if that's the case, then when you answer "everything's fine" to the question "what's wrong", and expect me to fix it, that's a game. Just tell me what the hell is wrong, what I have done and then we can have a conversation from there
8. you get pissed off when I am late to pick you up, same courtesy applies when you're an hour late because you don't know what to wear, even though you've been getting dressed in your mind all day
9. when I do something nice for you, enjoy it. Don't start putting new expectations on me about how I must constantly spend the rest of my life to "one up" myself. That just ruins the moment, ruins the surprise, and makes me never want to plan anything for you ever again.
10. stop playing the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde role. don't get all happy because I bought you something, then pout 10 seconds later because it "wasn't the one that you pointed to in the window", then yell at me because I wasn't paying attention, give me a lesson on how to pay attention including making mental notes every time you say how much you like that colour/flower/jewelry/sweater/restaurant/puppy, tell me to make up for it next time I surprise you with a big night on the town including reservations and an over night hotel stay, and then look at me and smile to say you love what I gave you. That shit is just crazy and makes me want to run the hell away from you.
So this is my top 10 of what I would think if I were a guy. Trust me, there would be more because there is a TON of shit women do that drive me out of my mind. I am not saying that I have never played these games, but you have to learn when to stop. I wish girls would just get out of their own way, open their eyes, and see the guy that is right in front of them and appreciate him for who he is. I'm not saying that all guys turn into Prince Charming, because they don't. Some are keepers and some are not. But there is a lid for every jar.
Not all girls play games. For those of you that do, good God stop telling the world that we're all like you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)