when ghosts come haunting

Sometimes out of the blue it hits me
and I realize
I miss you.

Remember playing in the snow in New York?
Remember wandering around Carmel?
Remember eating sushi in Portland?

we could smell anarchy at the coffee shop around the corner.
we laughed so hard in the face of danger, tears rolled down our faces.

I can still smell the Atlantic Ocean breeze in Ocracoke.
I can still smell the Pacific Ocean breeze walking along the Embarcadero.
I can still smell the Gulf breeze blowing through the jeep.

You were my best friend.
You were my heart.

I hope you are well.

Sometimes out of the blue it hits me
and I realize
I miss you.

Tobermory, July 2008

This past weekend was a very special weekend for me. I went up to Tobermory with my "diving family" this weekend to earn my Advanced Open Water certification.

My diving family is incredibly special to me. They have opened up their hearts to me and shared a love of sport and a sense of oneness that is incredibly rare these days.From Friday to Sunday, we ate, drank, talked, played, slept and dove together.

Sunday morning, we lost a member of our family, Craig, to an incredibly unfortunate accident. The worst part was seeing him 300ft from our boat and unable to do anything for him, except sit and watch as the Coast Guard took him away.I only knew Craig for a short time but he left an indelible mark. His quiet and strong personality resonated with me. I will not ever forget the moments we shared on the boat as he would make fun of me, or when we stood there on deck with our eyes closed, staring at the sun, or watching him get suited up. I wish everyone could have all been fortunate enough to meet Craig and been blessed with his presence in their life. It was a sad weekend but it made me realize how important my friends and family are to me. Life is short. You never know what is going to happen. Don't forget to live each moment to the fullest and never take anybody in your life for granted.

My last words to Craig were, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you." He said, "What, old?" I said, "No, I want to grow a mustache just like yours!" I hope he still finds that funny from where he is tonight.

I'll take friends for $2000, Alex...

I love my friends and I don't know where I would be without them. For years I lived in another province, away from my friends and family. You never know how much you miss them, or how much they mean to you until you're far away. Time and distance determines the nature of your friendship. I have had so many fall away, as we have picked up and moved from city to city, province to province, country to country. But those true friendships have survived both time and distance.

Celebrate those friendships in your life.

in my next 6 years

I am an insomniac. Sometimes days, weeks, and months will go by without a decent night of sleep. If you stay up long enough, you will start to hallucinate. To fill the time, I find myself wandering the house, taking the dog out for a walk at ungodly hours, cleaning the toilet, baking muffins. I think my neighbours appreciate my bouts with insomnia, as they get a batch of freshly baked morning glories....

My mind does tend to drift during these periods. I also have those, "I must inventory my life" moments. I thought instead of listing in numerical order all of the things that I regret having done, I thought I would run through a list of the top 10 things I'd like to accomplish before I turn 40. Seeing as I am running out of time...I should get to it quickly. Luckily for me, sleep is something I can give up in order to get one step closer to the finish line!

1. climb Kilimanjaro, or at least stand at it's base and take a picture
2. run a marathon (I know everybody says that, but I really mean it)
3. camp at the bottom of the Grand Canyon
4. jump out of a plane (with a parachute, versus because it's on fire)
5. have a weekend in Vegas where what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas
6. learn to make a great paella
7. write a great song with my friend Paul
8. spend a whole day in bed with the one I love
9. scuba dive in the Red Sea
10. go back to the county and city in which I was born, and get reacquainted

I have 5 and a half years to finish up my top 10 list. I don't think these things are unachievable. In fact, let me get up from my computer and get started on number six right now...

and it only took 29 years

I finally got my Snoopy Sno-Cone machine. And it only took 29 years.