About Me

In the quiet moments at the end of the day, when so much fills your mind and emotions overload your heart, this is the space where I free those thoughts and let them take over These are the thoughts of love and life, joys and frustrations, things I've learned, and my life's failures. In black and white.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Stag and Doe

What is this Stag and Doe thing?  Your friends have to buy tickets and then purchase alcohol and buy food all in the name of your wedding?  Perhaps it's because this is a tradition that I am just not familiar with.  Having said that, asian wedding customs must sound strange to a lot of non-asians as well (tea ceremonies, getting blessings from elders, etc).

I am not comfortable with the idea of a Stag and Doe/Jack and Jill, whatever name you want to put on it.  I am already inviting my friends to my wedding where I assume they will be bringing a wedding gift of some sort.  It seems crass to me the idea that my friends get together before my wedding to "give" me money for my wedding.  The night almost seems like it is designed as begging to me, just wrapped up in a pretty name, hidden with alcohol and casino games. 

If it were another event, lets say the birth of your child, or your high school graduation party and you called it your Tom and Jerry, or your Snoopy and Woodstock event, would it be kosher to ask your friends to buy tickets to gain entry, and pay for everything once they're inside? 

Seems to me, if your friends like you, they will gift you with something for your wedding.

Do you really need to beg beforehand?!

2 comments:

Jack and Jill Invitations said...

I somewhat agree with your post, but I have to admit that "Jack and Jill parties" are regional type of parties. It's very common here in Toronto to attend a Jack and Jill party and expect to spend money on gifts, raffle tickets, dinner and entertainment.

I know of friends in surrounding cities, Hamilton, niagara falls who also celebrate the same types of parties but have totally different style venues, foods and ticket costs. I believe it varies by area. But I do know that they are definitely a lot of fun to attend.

kitty said...

Dear Jack and Jill Invitations, thank you for your comment and I can see that you have a vested interest in these sorts of functions. Obviously I just posted my own opinion about J&Js, and anybody who wishes to have them can! I have been to a few myself, (some have been a blast, others have been frightening) but am uncomfortable having one myself.

Thanks for leaving your comment!

kitty